First drop concepts / private beta supply

Merch for the failed future.

AI took the scenic route to usefulness. Delivery apps turned dinner into a fee stack. OpenCrust merch is the uniform for everyone left holding the bag and still asking for pizza.

Vote for the first drop View mockups

×I’m with the crust×Pseudo pizza×App tax avoided

Drop 00

The crust has merch now.

Store is staged as a concept rack until we choose blanks, fulfillment, and the first print run.

// Drop candidates

Actual stuff people might wear.

These are product mockups, not checkout inventory. The first real store should launch with the strongest three SKUs, real blanks, tax/shipping rules, and a support path.

Heavyweight tee$38

I’M WITH THE CRUST

First drop candidate

I’m With The Crust

For people who survived the future and chose pizza.

Front: I’M WITH THE CRUST

Back/detail:

AI THAT ACTUALLY WORKS / DINNER DIVISION

Blank: washed black cotton

Finish: pepperoni pink ink

SKU mapped: im-with-the-crust-teeCheckout locked until paid evidence passes

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Washed black hoodie$72

PSEUDO PIZZA

Cult uniform

Pseudo Pizza Research Dept.

Lab wear for Artificial Garlic Intelligence.

Front: PSEUDO PIZZA

Back/detail:

RESEARCH DEPT. 00

Blank: heavy fleece

Finish: terminal green puff ink

SKU mapped: pseudo-pizza-hoodieCheckout locked until paid evidence passes

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Sticker pack$12

APP TAX AVOIDED

Always-on cheap hit

App Tax Avoided

Terminal warnings for laptops, pizza boxes, and fee trauma.

Front: APP TAX AVOIDED

Back/detail:

ROUTING AROUND DINNER TOLLBOOTH

Blank: vinyl sticker sheet

Finish: die-cut gloss

SKU mapped: app-tax-avoided-sticker-packCheckout locked until paid evidence passes

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Work shirt$54

PIZZA INFRASTRUCTURE TEAM

Operator issue

Pizza Infrastructure Team

For the brave few maintaining local pizza infrastructure.

Front: PIZZA INFRASTRUCTURE TEAM

Back/detail:

DIRECT SIGNAL FOUND

Blank: black twill overshirt

Finish: embroidered chest patch

SKU mapped: pizza-infrastructure-work-shirtCheckout locked until paid evidence passes

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Pocket tee$36

ZERO REGRETS DEPT.

Trust artifact

Zero Regrets Department

A tiny bureaucracy dedicated to dinner landing right.

Front: ZERO REGRETS DEPT.

Back/detail:

THE BUTTON SHOULD FEEL FUNNY, NOT RISKY

Blank: pepperoni black pocket tee

Finish: cream and pink print

Concept only: no backend SKUCheckout locked until paid evidence passes

Join drop list

Dad hat$32

A.G.I.

Dad-core signal

Artificial Garlic Intelligence

The cleanest possible explanation of the company.

Front: A.G.I.

Back/detail:

ARTIFICIAL GARLIC INTELLIGENCE

Blank: black washed twill

Finish: front embroidery

SKU mapped: artificial-garlic-intelligence-hatCheckout locked until paid evidence passes

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Shop tote$28

CRUSTGPT MADE ME DO IT

Errand artifact

CrustGPT Made Me Do It

For carrying pizza, receipts, and the emotional weight of the future.

Front: CRUSTGPT MADE ME DO IT

Back/detail:

ONE BUTTON. ZERO COMMITTEE.

Blank: natural canvas

Finish: one-color pink screenprint

Concept only: no backend SKUCheckout locked until paid evidence passes

Join drop list

// Store status

Checkout later. Demand first.

Merch should not borrow the pizza-order payment flow. First we pick the drop, then wire a clean checkout path with fulfillment, taxes, shipping, and support.

No live checkout yet. Take interest first, then order blanks and connect fulfillment.

Mascot family, line weight, and color usage stay inside the approved OpenCrust brand kit.

Checkout makes sense after the first drop SKUs, return rules, tax, shipping, and support owner are decided.